End of A Journey

There is pain in the liver indicated. There's a giddy feeling to shake. Once again, an event stomping soul. And makes me wonder: I wonder what my life's journey end? I do not know, I do not know and am fully confident that I will never know. Perhaps in a way that I never imagined before, or perhaps in a way that I always jusutru bayangankan before.

As never crossed my mind, he will experience the event and died. Monday afternoon before sunset, receive sms from a friend. Innalillahi wa inna Ilaihi roji'un, Agus Haryanto mother died of robbery. Tomorrow we mourn at 8. It read.

Really, it does not believe it when I read it. But it is true sms. News on TV and on the radio I heard later confirmed the truth of the incident. Inevitably, it's robberies and cross-cross looming in my mind. Bringing horror (imagine a stab wound in the neck and hands), took pity (imagine the families and children who have recently started growing up, in fact the only daughter (three other sons of men) just got married). How does it feel if I were experiencing?

But death does not choose how, age and status. She can happen to anyone, any age and by any means. Similarly, age, marital status and how it is not the PROBLEM. It's not the matter, it's not the point how does somebody die. What matters is how we condition when he died. And the mother's death at the hands of robbers Agus Haryanto gave lessons in for me.

Middle-aged woman was known to be friendly, energetic, nice to everyone but at the same time an activist firm. I do not know him intimately. Our relationship is the relationship between me as a Muslim activist Gathering Forum Finance Ministry and he is a member of the leadership Dharmawanita Treasury Department, which happens to have the same concern to the world of children and women / worker and families. Similarity concern is what makes us often entered into a collaboration, such as seminars on family and children and held a contest for employees / employee of the finance department and their families in order to Commemorate the National Children's Day.

In addition, for more than two years, we were involved in building cooperation Daycare (Child Care Center) in the Ministry of Finance as efforts to provide facilities for working mothers in order to enhance breastfeeding the baby. This process takes such a long time already, and nearly completed thanks to the support and a big hand from Mother Agus. In fact, so long that I even had resigned from the team. But during that time he did not lose stamina. When we are weak because so many obstacles and make this project impossible, she who 'scold' and encouraged that the project must go on, whatever hambatananya. I do not know, after he's gone, I do not know how the continuation of this project. As I also do not know whether there are how many plans and another project he was working on at his death.

Death has become a dividing line, which stops all that he did. But, again, it all does not matter. Because God has promised a reward for the effort, a process, not the result. During an activity is based on sincerity pious charity, the reward remain hands even death to stop the effort. Moreover, if the time of death, the person concerned was in the best condition.

And so I expect the mother Agus Haryanto. When the events of the robbery, he was in a state of fasting on Mondays and Thursdays. He died in situations maintain the trust that he held: Money belongs Dharma Wanita Ministry of Finance. How sweet, how beautiful, even though his death by the hands of ruthless robbers. Blessed are they, the people who have died in the best condition. Hopefully he included in the category of martyrdom, so said Mr. Muhammad in his introductory Mar'I departure corpse. Good-bye, Mother! Goodbye friend, goodbye mujahidah!

And, all of a sudden I want to change my prayer and supplication I Leave to my two best friends will leave pilgrimage later this month.

Dude, no, do not ask me a successful career, good fortune, a pious soul mate or other worldly success. Let me, let God alone who determines it to me, like anything else. I ask only pray for one course: To me strong, brave and true through all her destiny, until when I arrive at my age deadline, I can end it well, with a sweet, beautifully. (Really, I'm afraid of dying that pick as I was complaining, despairing of the mercy. Indeed, I am afraid the deadline for the life of me come when I'm adulterous Him. Indeed I was concerned when I have the time it is closed upon me, myself struggling with futility. Indeed, I fear, when I die, my heart was filled amid disappointment, anger or resentment).

Dude, please pray for it to God! Lord, please grant my prayer!